The Arizona desert doesn't suffer from gophers, so I've been out of touch with this scourge. But returning to our B&B&B farmstead in Minnesota this spring gave me a crash course in remembering.
We had a number of difficulties that kept me from taking action against the fresh mound waiting in the back yard, so I sic'ed the cats on it. After all, they are barn cats and very proficient hunters last summer. Even though they did take comfortably to being lap cats all winter in Arizona, I felt certain they would relish attacking fresh moving food once set free again. Yeah, right....dream on.
I looked out to see three of them sitting around the mound apparently trying to vibe the gopher out to play. The next morning, four cats lined up to come in for kibbles and a new mound in the yard.
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
Realizing the cats were out of practice, and spoiled to boot, I dug out the bait I had from last year that worked pretty good on the ground squirrels in the pastures. I liberally sprinkled the pellets into the hole. The next morning a third mound had appeared.
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
bait 1 0
_______ _____
2 0
Digging into the gardening box a little deeper I found the poison gas cylinders. I dug out that third mound, lit the fuse and slipped the tube far down into the hole. I placed a piece of cardboard over the hole and piled dirt on top of that. As I was about to do the same to the previous mounds small whiffs of gas seeped out of the fresh dirt and wafted around, driving me upwind and away from my good intentions. But I felt confident that stuff would do the job. Next morning a fourth mound awaited my frustration.
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
bait 1 0
gas cylinder 1 0
__________ _______
3 0
Ok, enough is enough. Time to get serious. Down to the Farm Supply store I went. Came away with a nasty looking skewer-them-in-the-middle looking weapon and some bait the salesman said was a Super-Duper-Sure-Fire-Gopher-Getter poison. The bait was probably an over kill, but better to have it on hand than not. It took me awhile to get the trap set so I didn't bother to tether it to the ground. After all, a gopher skewered with that thing wouldn't make it an inch let alone get away with the hardware. Just to keep the cats safe, I put a milk jug with the bottom cut out over the hole so they wouldn't reach down in there and get maimed. Some dirt piled around the base to keep the jug stable and I was all set to do my victory dance. Next morning I looked out and the jug was completely dark. Upon examination I found the entire jug was filled with fresh dirt all the way to the top! When I uncovered the hole and poked a stick in, no trap was to be found. That little beast had stolen the whole thing and stuffed the jug in an obvious "Up Yours"! Next morning a whole new mound!
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
bait 1 0
gas cylinder 1 0
prong trap 1 0
______ _____
4 0
That does it! The salesman assured me the Super-Duper-Sure-Fire-Gopher-Getter bait would do the trick. In fact he says he isn't even going to carry any other brand it is so far superior. With that comforting thought I scooped away the fresh dirt and loaded up the hole with SDSFGG and even opened up the aborted trap effort hole and spiked it with SDSFGG too. Next morning, ANOTHER (expletive deleted) MOUND!!
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
bait 1 0
gas cyliner 1 0
prong trap 1 0
Super-Duper-bait 1 0
_______ _______
5 0
The yard was beginning to look like it had been peppered with IEDs !! As I stood looking out the window, fuming at the destruction I saw a small shower of dirt puff out of the mound! Rubbing my eyes I looked again. Again the dirt! I grabbed my .22 and slipped out the front door around behind the utility trailer. Squinting through the sight I waited. The gopher raised up about a quarter of his body out of the hole and I squeezed. CLICK. Dud shell! Crap! I eased back behind the trailer hoping I wasn't seen and ejected the next two shells. Moving slowly I resumed my aim and waited. He stuck his body out again. POW! Perfect heart shot! YEAH !!!!
Gopher Gwen
cats 1 0
bait 1 0
gas cylinder 1 0
prong trap 1 0
Super-Duper Bait 1 0
.22 0 1
______ _______
5 1
But mine is the only one that counts !
So far, no more mounds, no evidence of gophers and still four lazy, spoiled cats eating kibble.
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